My day started with a heavy feeling on my chest...so I prayed and asked God to help me get pass thru it...I don't want to think about her anymore...but my stubborn heart won't listen..
I used to entertain the idea that I might see her on the train or might chance upon her in the mall or on the street......but Dubai is a big city and chances are...she's not where I am or somewhere near to where I am....
Yes, I still want to see her....even for one last time...just for a proper closure....to prove myself....but I guess It might not happen....the silence between us is so deafening that I am certain...she does not have any plans of seeing me....I am trying to painfully accept that truth...
I am focusing on myself....healing....recovery....not easy but I am making small baby steps every day....praying that God will continue to hold me...as I go thru this difficult season...
My work ended....still feeling gloomy...but thankful that I survived another day....the driver picked me up and I had dinner with my cousin's family in a restaurant serving Indian cuisine at Business Bay...the prawns cooked in white onion with turmeric and curry is really good paired with their best seller, dum gosht biryani....for a time I felt happy 😃
Home now....had a cup of brewed dark coffee...there used to be a photo of her in a frame...near my bed...I already placed it inside the drawer...I took my phone....typed a message...but erased it....cried for a while....
Why is moving on and letting go...so painfully difficult....
I can feel your pain thru your writings and I am praying that you will be able to really heal from it. Heartbreak is a different kind of pain but reading your entries I feel that you have a strong faith in God. Just don't give up. Left a message in your FB/IG - Dr. Morris Tauden, MD
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