broken....

I breached medical protocol and disobeyed my parents.....made a big leap of what I thought would make me whole...would make me happy....even if I don't even know where to start....I was hoping she would tell me where I could possibly meet her...finally see her again..... I have encountered tremendous challenges on the flight and upon arrival....almost lost my life...but it didn't matter....I am seeing her...and that's the main agenda.....

But in the end.... I was left behind....I was disregarded.....I am still not enough....I got stuck in a place where my heart experienced more pain.. and I feel so broken....I don't even know if my heart would mend...if my soul will find solace....if my body will heal 

For now, my heart and my mind are numb....I still can't process this outcome.....I just want to breathe...live one day at a time...while slowly accepting all that just happened and what's happening....

I've never been so broken....God, please help me get thru this...