Finally... finished my EEG therapy (qEEG) for TBI....2 more sessions for CBT and 3 sessions with the psychologist....
Also done with the visit to the cardiologist and the bone/nerve doctor
Exhausted but thankful for the improved test results
Thank you GOD
"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness"- Lamentations 3:22-23
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29: 11
Mom requested that I cook "pork giniling", a Filipino dish consisting of ground pork, diced potatoes, carrot cubes, corn kernels, green peas and tomato sauce. As an added ingredient, I always put quail eggs (my niece, Nini, loves it).
Unfortunately, when I checked our kitchen supplies, there were no quail eggs available. I decided to add regular eggs instead.
So during dinner, when the dish was served, Nini kept on looking at it and then eventually came to me and said.."there's no small egg Tio"
I had to explained to her that we ran out of quail eggs and she should try the big egg, instead. I took the egg and sliced it to small pieces and gave it to her.
She ate it, silently and without looking at me. I asked her if she likes it and she just nodded her head.
I felt bad that I disappointed my niece with the dish. I then reminded our helper to always buy quail eggs. .
After dinner, I assisted my twin sister Zia in washing the dishes before helping Mom with Dad. Nini then went inside the room with her Dad to say good night to her grandparents. She went near me and hug me and said, thank you Tio. I asked her if she's not happy because there's no small eggs on the food and she said "I like it Tio" then hugged me again. So I thought everything is already okay
But then when she was leaving the room before closing the door, she looked at me and said, "next time, don't forget the small egg Tio"
I just made a thumps up!
Love you Nini!
......valoro todos los pequeños momentos que tengo contigo....
....., cada pequeño segundo cuando escucho tu voz... cuando me estás hablando....cada vez que puedo hablar contigo....incluso la conversación más corta contigo...
hace feliz a mi corazón....
Extraño terriblemente esos tiempos en que hablamos durante horas... extrañó el sonido de tu risa...
si supieras cuánto te anhelo cada día....
Siempre estoy orando para que estés a salvo... que Dios esté proveyendo para tus necesidades.
Ya no tengo conocimiento de tu situación actual... tu trabajo... dónde te estás quedando...
una vez... cuando estábamos a punto de dormir... tu compañero de cuarto te preguntó sobre una fiesta... y estabas muy feliz y emocionado cuando dijiste... "sí"
Quería hacer tantas preguntas, pero sé que no me responderás...
cuando te extraño... solo miro tus fotos en mi teléfono... leo nuestras viejas conversaciones... veo tus videos...
Escuché tus mensajes de voz... y me dejé llorar y llorar hasta que estoy exhausto...
te amo... nada puede cambiar la forma en que me siento por ti... incluso si ya no sientes lo mismo por mí... no dejaré de amarte...
te amo tanto...reynalyn
.... .and had my morning run at our backyard.....for 15 minutes....
Feels good to be able to run again....Thank you God for the continuous healing....
Here's to a healthy TBI recovery!
So my Mom, my twin sister Zia and her husband. Dr. Mikey, went to the hospital to be with Zephy and I was left at home to look after Dad.
While having our dinner, Mom called and gave him an update on Zephy's condition. Mom also told him that his "newest" grandson's condition is improving and that Zephy and Arfrid were able to hold the baby for few minutes. The good news made him really happy.
While sipping his "tomato soup with basil", he looked at me and asked..."What about you? When will you give me a grandchild?"
The question hit me like a bomb. I was caught off guard and was not able to answer. I tried changing the topic but he remained looking at me, waiting for an answer.
I know my Dad, when he asked a question, you cannot just simply shrug it away, as he will definitely wait for an answer. But at that very moment, I really don't know what to say.
How can I tell him that I am not sure if the only woman that I want to be the mother of my children still wants to have children with me...I don't even know what she feels about me...if she still loves me...she's the only one that I want...I could not imagine having a baby with anyone but her.....
I did not realize that my tears were already falling. I don't know if I have to apologize or say anything. I am so lost for words as my emotions took over me.
And then he said..."come here mijo" so I went closer to him and with shaking hands, he hugged me. I had to let go of the heavy feeling and cried in his shoulder. He was just tapping my back. No words. Just pure love
We were like that for a while until I felt his grip loosening and I kiss him on his forehead. He then told me, "I am done now, you can just help me in the washroom".
After assisting him (he brushed his teeth, he used the comfort room, he took his meds, he changed his pajamas), my older brother, Zach and his wife, Donna, arrived and told me to rest and they will take it from there.
So here I am now, inside my room, I don't know what to feel.
I just want to love and be loved...
Will I ever be a father?
Will I ever have her as my wife? the mother of my children?
Naked and cold, I went inside my closet. And now, I am forcing myself to sleep
"As I lie in bed, I think of you, all night long I remember you..."-Psalm 63:6
I love you.....I still love you so much....
According to this article,running with a dog is good for health! It offers numerous physical and mental health benefits as it promotes weight management, improves cardio vascular functions, strengthens bones and may help in overcoming depression and reduces stress.
As for the dog, it exposes him to new sights, sounds, smells providing mental stimulation and preventing boredom. It also helps build and maintain lean muscle mass....
On my part, I really miss running and at the same time, I want to feel so tired so that my mind could only think of resting or sleeping.
Running with Franco, our French Bulldog!!!! Till next time.....
Dad told me that he is craving for roasted chicken....and requested that I cook one for him...but in the halogen oven or "turbo broiler"
Told him I am not sure if our halogen oven is still okay....but he was insisting that I cook one in that machine....so let's see if this is still working......
so far....so good....
Zechariah Azriel Croft Al Shehhi or Zachie/Zechie.......we desperately wanted to see you closer or to even touch your feet but we are still not allowed to do so. You are very prone to infection, very fragile.
You are still at the NICU and I can't stand the site of seeing you there with so many contraptions attached to your frail body. But we know you are fighting. And we, your family, is fighting with you.
We were there hours ago. I was holding your abuela's hand as she cries silently at the viewing glass. We also prayed for you. We thanked God for you-- a blessing, a gift.
We trust God that He will continue to hold you closer. We pray for strength, for endurance and wisdom to all the doctors who are treating you. Your Mom is still recuperating but desperately wanting to see you and be with you. Your abuelo is also excited to see you. Your Kuya Gian, Ate Dana, Diche Nini and Ate Zafi are also excited to be with you.
We love you my little nephew. God is holding you and He is with you. We are holding you close in our hearts and in our prayers. We can't wait to hold you and bring you home.
....nunca dejé de amarte...
y todavía te amo... tanto...estoy tratando y aprendiendo a amarte... en silencio... en recuerdos que aún siento demasiado cerca....
te anhelo cada día... extraño la manera en que hablamos todos los días... aún te hablo en mi cabeza cuando las cosas se ponen difíciles.
Todavía pienso en lo que habrías dicho para calmarme, para recordarme que todo estará bien...
cuando me siento tan agotado y frustrado... vi tu video... y allí estás diciéndome que todo estará bien...
tú fuiste mi consuelo...mi calma...mi constante...y siempre extrañaré esa parte....siempre te amaré...aunque ya no sientas lo mismo por mí...siempre oraré por ti...y siempre esperaré que algún día...me amarás de nuevo....
te amo tanto
My achi delivered her second baby by emergency CS and hey it's a boy!
Here's the announcement from my brother-in-law, Arfrid's post on Facebook...
My older sister, my "achi", Zephy, is pregnant of her second child and it was labelled as "high risk". She is scheduled to give birth on the 23rd day of August but for the past few weeks, she's been experiencing so much discomforts and her blood pressure is fluctuating. She also developed gestational diabetes. She is currently admitted. Please help us pray for her and the baby in her womb.
Te quiero mucho Achi Zephy.
...¿Puedo estar contigo? ¿Dormir contigo?
No sé si estás ocupado/a? ¿haciendo algo?
espero no estarme molestando
te anhelo...te deseo...quiero estar contigo....
Lo siento... por favor, no te ofendas.
muchas cosas están sucediendo y anhelo tu presencia
quizás... solo esperaré aquí en el sofá...
por favor cuídate donde quiera que estés....
siempre estoy pensando en ti
.....estamos durmiendo juntos....después de decirme '¿deberíamos antes de que te ocupes, antes de que se apague tu teléfono o mientras tengas tiempo?'
Lo siento si te sientes así, mi amor... pero nunca estuve ocupado... en realidad estaba esperando por ti... para estar conmigo... incluso por un poco de tiempo...
Tengo que admitir que mi corazon esta en paz cuando estoy contigo...cuando duermo contigo..incluso virtualmente por ahora
Y me siento tan mal cuando me dijiste una vez que estabas llorando mientras virtualmente dormías conmigo... Lo siento mucho si no escuché eso... soy tan egoísta.
No sé qué pasó, pero la llamada se cortó o terminó... Estaba tratando de llamarte, pero supongo que ya te habías quedado dormido y no pudiste contestar...
Quería llamar y llamar hasta que pudieras recogerlo, pero me doy cuenta de que solo debería dejarte dormir... tal vez estés cansado del trabajo y necesites descansar...
así que solo susurré una oración por ti...por la protección de Dios mientras duermes...que Dios te dé un sueño reparador...libre de preocupaciones y pesadillas...y que puedas recuperar tus energías al enfrentarte a un nuevo día...
rezando para que Dios siga proveyéndote de todas tus necesidades..
Bajé y traté de almorzar... y también tomo mis medicinas...
I like the cherry tomatoes... .rich in vitamin a, vitamin c, lycopene, low in calorie, high in fiber and ...that feeling when it is bursting inside your mouth and you can taste the fusion of flavor....sweet, tangy, juicy and a bit sour.....really cool.
Delicioso! Realmente bueno!
